Now I don’t hold grudges but there comes a point where a company gives such little shit about you that you start getting irritated. In fact, as of late I have given up believing that businesses will actually deliver/call at arranged times. If it’s my day and I manage to get my payment, parcel, pizza when scheduled THEN I am surprised, otherwise I plan around the delay.
In any case, here are three companies and three reasons why I will never use them again.
KFC
Back when I reached the legal age to get a job (14.9 years in Australia), I was constantly being nagged by my mom to get my ass out of the house and find a part time job. After all it was what the other kids were doing. Realistically though, I was 14. I had just gotten my first glimpse of boobies and all I wanted to do was skateboard and play skateboarding games on my Playstation.
Eventually, after a couple hundred arguments I succumbed to the pressure and applied for a clearly, prosperous career at the KFC down the road.
What followed next was a lengthy interview with a woman who obviously cared too much about her job. I’m not sure if she was just looking for young blood or my boyish charm had taken over but I was invited back for a ‘practice hour’ which was supposed to test my skills in mopping floors, frying chicken and other fast food tasks (i.e. juggling molten-hot potatoes). Once the deadly grilling was over I was told that I got the job and celebratory cheers ensued from the rest of the staff. I had become a man.
The catch was that I would be called within the week and informed of my starting time and hours.
It’s 5 years later and I’m still waiting for that call…
The DMV/RTA
The ungodly waiting times and stupid tellers aside my grudge isn’t with one specific RTA/DMV but the system as a whole, at least in Australia. You see, getting my driving license has been one belated process after another. At this point, I’m about 3 years overdue. Coming from the UK, my English license was not accepted in Sydney because of the short length of time it was held and getting a straight answer from somebody thus far has proven difficult.
To cut a long story short, after a couple weeks worth of inquiries I was told I needed to retake both my theory test and driving test. Lame, but fine I thought I’ll get this over with and buy a sports car (which isn’t permitted in the UK for young drivers due to insurance). It would have been worth it. I passed the theory test without much trouble, and went ahead with the driving test. Admittedly, it was a little sloppy but still well above what is required of a driving test. Little did I know, the rules are a little different here (though nobody follows them) for indicating out of roundabouts.
Apparently, and I still dispute this today, when crossing a roundabout/rotary you need to indicate left. I’ve seen maybe five cars do this in the last month, and it’s by no means enforced by traffic police etc.
I did that twice in the test, and bang bang bang it was game over. No big deal you say? Just retake the test and indicate. The rules state I need to wait another year and go through the entire learning process again with loser plates on (L plates).
So if you see me hiking through the rain don’t be afraid to give me a ride!
Hillside (Local club)
There isn’t much to do where I currently reside, so people flock to the nearest club every Friday and Saturday. About a month ago I decided to see what all the buzz was about, drink my troubles away and whatnot. Needless to say, they weren’t letting anybody in by the time I got there (around 11pm), so instead I wandered around the nearby shops and went to Mcdonalds to enjoy a succulent quarter pounder.
Having devoured the burger at superhuman speeds, I went back to get a status report, still a no – go. So I go to the bus bay to see what’s happening there (nothing is happening). There is one girl sitting at the bus stop, after a couple of minutes I decide to engage in conversation with some bullshit bus question. She seems nice enough, we chat, I tell a few jokes and then her friends pick her up by car. Didn’t bother drawing for a number…
Finally, at about 12:30am I went back and spoke to a few friends who were coming out (the club, not the closet).
At about 12:45am I was finally let in, bought two beers and wanted to go onto the balcony overlooking the city to chill for a bit and reminisce, which was the plan all along. Of course by this point, the security guard doesn’t let me passed because it’s closed. I position myself in the middle of the dance floor, suck on my beer and quietly laugh at my bad luck.
That’s fair, just a stroke of bad luck right? Try again another day. Well out of the ten times that I have attempted to get in, I’ve been let in about twice. Now it’s personal, assholes.
Be the first to know when shit hits the fan by following me on Twitter

